


We Go Up!

by eyeseathevision



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ;), Alternate Universe - Horror, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, M/M, and i hope u are too, this is gonna be a mess but im here for it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 18:17:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15846747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyeseathevision/pseuds/eyeseathevision
Summary: hey there demons, its me, ya boy, back at it again with another fic i might never finish, but i hope you stick around for awhile anyways. i love the dreamies so much and i never focused on them much in my other fic so i wanted to do something with em. this is gonna be half crack, half horror. i hope yall enjoy





	1. Mark/Jeno

     “If you jack off with a muppet is it a handjob or a blowjob?” 

     Mark sat up so fast from where he was laying on his bed that he blacked out for a few seconds. When his vision returned, his best friend was looking at him innocently from where he was kneeling on the floor. Mark put a hand to his forehead and let out a weary sigh. “It’s a crime, is what it is.”

     His friend, Donghyuck, didn’t seem to like that answer, and he pouted. “It was a serious question, hyung.”

     Mark’s attention strayed again, as it usually did when his friends were back on their bullshit. It was a lazy summer morning, their first day off of the summer, and the two boys were waiting for the rest of their friend group to convene at Mark’s house before heading out for the day. Between not being able to find decent-paying jobs and his family’s struggle with money, Mark had never really got to enjoy the summertime before. But this year, his mother had finally found a good job, and his father even had the means to go back to college for a second degree, and the pressure was off of their son to help pay for bills. Mark still worked part-time as a soccer coach for the elementary school he used to go to, but that didn’t take up too much of his time. This summer was going to be different. Better.

     “Come in!”

     Mark had been so spaced out that he didn’t notice the knocking on his bedroom door until Donghyuck answered it for him. Two of their friends, Jaemin and Jeno, had arrived, both wearing similar hawaiian-print shirts and cut-off shorts. Jaemin took a seat on the rug next to Donghyuck with a shy smile, while Jeno silently dabbed and took a seat in Mark’s desk chair. 

     “What’s the plan for today, chief?” Jaemin directed the question at Mark. The older boy pushed himself up into a sitting position and leaned back against the wall, blinking away the last traces of sleep from his eyes. 

     “M’not sure yet. My mom wanted me to do some grocery shopping, but aside from that, I don’t have anything else planned. We’ll see what everyone wants to do once they get here.”

     As if on cue, several pairs of footsteps and yelling could be heard coming from the hallway and the door flung open, Renjun and Jisung barreling through like racehorses and promptly running straight into the edge of Mark’s bed. They fell to the floor, groaning in pain.

     Chenle stepped into the room at a considerably slower speed than the others, but that was probably because he was laughing so hard he kept stumbling over his own feet. Hiccuping slightly, he joined Mark on the end of his bed. “Hey y’all.”

     “Sup, bitch,” Donghyuck greeted, to which Mark promptly threw a pillow at him.

     “Don’t say that to the baby!” Mark said indignantly. 

     “I thought I was the baby?” asked Jisung, brows furrowed in confusion.

     “You’re all babies to me,” replied Mark. He stood up. “Anyways, I have to do some grocery shopping for my mom, but we can do whatever y’all want after. That sound cool?”

     The boys around him nodded, pushing themselves to their feet and parading out the door. Mark swiped his keys and wallet from the desk, then decided to wait a moment. As he watched from the window, his friends skipped out the front door and raced to his car, which he always left unlocked in the driveway. Just before they reached the vehicle, Mark pressed the lock button. Jisung was the fastest of them all and had clearly called shotgun, but as he went to rip the passenger door open, he realized he couldn’t and was trampled by Donghyuck and Jeno, who couldn’t slow down in time before the collision. All of the boys tugged desperately on the door handles as Mark cackled from his hiding spot. 

     Somehow, they were still trying to pry open the doors when Mark approached the car. “Have you tried pushing?” he suggested earnestly.

     Chenle, the dumb kid, actually pushed against the car door, causing Jisung to screech, “You  _ idiot _ !”, from where he was still wrestling with Donghyuck. 

     Finally, Mark hit the unlock button. Donghyuck shoved Jisung away from him and jumped into the passenger seat with a satisfied grin. The others clambered into the backseat, first Jeno, then Renjun, then Chenle. Jaemin squeezed past the others to sit on Jeno’s lap, while Jisung was stuck on Chenle’s lap. Due to there only being three back seats and because Mark was the only one of them who had their license, the friends had to choose a few of them to hold another friend on their lap whenever they went anywhere. However, it didn’t seem like much of a problem, Mark noted, as Jaemin stretched his legs out across the back seat and snuggled into Jeno’s chest.

     “Hey, leave some room for Our Holy Lord and Saviour back there,” he quipped, starting up the car. Jaemin just stuck his tongue out at him.

     Mark pulled out of the driveway and started driving to the store. Despite it only being 10am, the air was hot and humid already. Mark adjusted the baseball cap on his head, hoping it would hide the beads of sweat along his hairline. Next to him, Donghyuck had stuck his head out the window like a dog, copper hair pushed back off his forehead by the wind.

     “Hey, Mark?” Renjun called from behind him. Mark glanced into the rearview mirror. Renjun looked apprehensive. 

     “Why have we listened to Before He Cheats three times in a row? Is there anything else on this playlist?”

     Mark threw his phone into Donghyuck’s lap. “Here, you check. Papa’s gotta keep his eyes on the road.”

     Grudgingly, Donghyuck unlocked the phone and went to Spotify. He scrolled up and down the playlist a few times before coming to a conclusion. “Nope, that’s it. Just Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood eighteen times.”

     “Nice,” Jeno snickered. Renjun sighed from his seat in the middle.

     “Hey, how about we go to the river today?” Jaemin suggested from Jeno’s lap. “It’s gonna get even hotter later.”

     Cheering exploded from the back seat. “Yeah, that would be awesome!” Chenle yelled, shaking Jisung’s shoulders in excitement. 

     “Remember that one time when the current was too strong and Mark’s shorts fell down?”

     “Renjun, I swear to god- ” Mark snapped, his face heating up.

     “And then he slipped on a rock trying to put them back on?” Donghyuck crowed. The car was a cacophony of screams, laughs, and shrieks amidst Mark’s protests.

     “What kind of friends are you anyway? Why didn’t anyone tell me not to go out that far?” Mark shot back at his friends, yelling to be heard over their bullshit.

     “We all told you,” Donghyuck reminded him. Chenle screeched in laughter, effectively shattering the eardrums of the entire back seat.

     Mark veered into a parking spot and slammed his foot on the brakes. “We’re HERE. Get out of my car.”

 

Chapter 1.5

 

     Jaemin opened the door on his side and leapt out, holding a hand up to Jeno to help him get down. Although Jeno didn’t need the help, he took his friend’s hand gratefully. Despite almost always dressing head to toe in black and listening to too much 90’s western punk music, Jaemin was the sweetest person that he knew. He was Jeno’s favorite person to smoke with, because even sober Jaemin was too deep and philosophical for his own right. When he was high, the boy became impossible, and Jeno couldn’t help but lose his shit at everything the other boy said. He cared for Jaemin deeply though, and always remembered to pack an extra water bottle in case his friend forgot one and started to overheat in his dumb all-black attire.

     Lost in thought, he didn’t realize Jaemin was talking to him until the other boy waved a hand in his face. “Earth to Jeno?”

     “Hey!” Jeno flashed a bright smile at him, hoping he hadn’t missed too much of their conversation.

     Jaemin rolled his eyes, but he was smiling too. “I said, do you wanna race to the carts?”

     Instead of answering, Jeno took off sprinting, Jaemin following close behind with a gasped, “You bastard!”. Forgetting about the others, they ran neck-to-neck into the store and to the carts, where they leaned against the wall, wheezing. 

     “I...totally...beat...your...ass.” Jeno coughed out, trying to slow his racing heartbeat. 

     Jaemin scoffed in disbelief. “No... _ fucking _ ...way.” His long dangly earring was swinging wildly. They stayed like that for a minute, trying to catch their breath, until the others joined them. 

     Jaemin observed them curiously. “Hyuck, you’re smiling. What happened?”

     Donghyuck was trying his best to hide a shit-eating grin. “What, can’t I just smile because I’m happy about something?”

     “Mark tripped and fell in the parking lot.” Renjun deadpanned. Jeno craned his neck to see the aforementioned boy hiding behind Jisung in shame.

     As Donghyuck nearly collapsed to the ground laughing, Mark pushed past the others. “Come on guys, we just need to get a few things and then we’re leaving.” He took one of the carts and pushed it into the store, the rest of them following close behind. After a few minutes of aimlessly wandering around the produce section, Mark turned around. “You guys don’t have to be  _ right _ on my ass, you know.”

     As Chenle proceeded to climb into the shopping cart despite Mark’s protests and the others scattered to avoid his wrath, Jaemin grabbed Jeno’s hand. “Let’s go look at the smoothies, hyung,” the younger boy suggested. Jeno let himself be dragged to the shelves of chilled drinks.

     Jaemin held loosely onto his hand as he browsed the options. “Ooh, Jeno! They have a strawberry lemonade one!”

     Jeno tried his best not to swoon. Jaemin’s favorite food was strawberries, and whenever he consumed or smelled anything with the precious fruit in it, he looked positively angelic. Jeno swore a golden halo had appeared above his friend’s head and his eyes sparkled like the night sky on a new moon.

_      What the hell, you dumb bitch _ , thought Jeno to himself.  _ That’s your bro _ .

     Jaemin looked back at him. “Are you getting anything?”

     Jeno patted his shorts pockets and sadly felt the familiar emptiness. “Nah, I forgot my wallet at home.”

     The other boy smiled, piercing Jeno with rays of sunshine. “No worries, I can get you something! You like mango the best, right?”

     “Ah, no, you don’t have to- “

     Jaemin held up the two smoothie bottles and winked. “Too bad! Let’s go find the others.”

     Jeno willed his heart to  _ fucking relax _ .

     They were just about to turn into the nearest aisle when Jeno heard a familiar voice.

     “Is this a real porcupine?” said a tall boy with longish brown hair, pointing at a fake pineapple on top of a fresh fruit stand. Next to him, a soft-looking person with silver hair was looking at him incredulously. 

     “You mean a pineapple?”

     The brown-haired boy looked between the pineapple and the other person, blinking slowly, before closing his gaping mouth. “Thank god I’m pretty.”

     “Jungwoo! Lucas!” Jeno called out, getting their attention.

     The silver-haired person, Jungwoo, smiled and waved at him and dragged their boyfriend, Lucas, over to them. “Hey kids, what’s up?”

     Lucas was one of Mark’s older friends, and loved to hang around them every once in awhile. Once he started dating Jungwoo, a sweet nonbinary person he went to university with, the two of them often hung out with their group. 

     “Just shopping for Mark’s mom with the crew,” replied Jaemin. “You haven’t seen any of the others, have you?”

     “I think I heard a pterodactyl noise coming from the pasta aisle a few moments ago, so I’m assuming that’s one of the babies,” said Lucas. He dabbed. “Let’s go look.”

     Their little group ventured into the pasta aisle, where they caught a glimpse of Mark pushing the cart out of sight. They ran to catch up. Mark turned around at the sound of incoming footsteps but let out a sigh of relief when he saw who it was. “Oh, hey guys. You run into each other?”

     Jungwoo nodded, and pulled Lucas’ hand away from a shelf full of Pop Tarts. “Hey there, Chenle.”

     The younger boy was slowly disappearing underneath a pile of noodles, cereal, frozen pizzas, and bags of chips. “Hi, Jungwoo! Is Booger Boy with you?”

     “Hey!” Lucas scowled pointedly. “You should respect your hyungs.”

     “You shouldn’t pick your nose,” Chenle responded matter-of-factly.

     “The baby has a point,” Jaemin mumbled into Jeno’s ear, and he giggled. 

     Mark sighed exasperatedly. “Okay y’all, I just need to get my mom some ice cream and then we’re all set. I think that’s where everyone else went anyways.” 

     They all followed Mark around the store, laughing at him when he went down the wrong aisle two separate times and nearly ran over a toddler with the shopping cart. As suspected, they found Renjun, Jisung, and Donghyuck slapping each other with freeze pops in the frozen dessert section. When Jisung caught sight of them, he pointed at Lucas and his face broke into an evil grin. “Booger Boy!”

     Lucas clenched his fists. “Shut up, infant.”

     Jungwoo swatted their boyfriend’s arm. “Don’t be mean to the baby.”

     “OKAY EVERYONE,” Mark yelled to get their attention, and Jeno felt Jaemin shaking with laughter next to him. “I have everything on the list, so let’s get out of here.” 

     Jeno hung towards the back of the group with Jaemin, watching their parade of chaos make its way through the crowd. His friend clung onto his shoulder as to not get separated.

     “Imagine Mark being an actual father. What a disaster.” Jeno remarked.

     Jaemin laughed loudly, then lowered his voice. “Hey, look behind you, but like, really subtly okay? Don’t be obvious,” he whispered into his ear.

     Naturally, Jeno cranked his neck around so fast that he heard several pops as Jaemin burst into hysterics, almost dropping their smoothies. He came face to face with an older man wearing suspenders with pants that were pulled up way too high for his own good. The man was looking at Jaemin’s hand on his shoulder with a disapproving expression. When they made eye contact, the man quickly looked away in fear of getting caught. Jeno rolled his eyes and turned back around.

     “Jeez, what an old geezer.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh boy, I think I gave myself whiplash.” 

     “Hey, I have a question,” said Jaemin. “What the fuck are you on? Why do you talk like that? I swear to god if you da- “

     Jeno lowered his arms dutifully.

     Twenty minutes later, they had all paid for their items and were about to leave the store. “Let’s go, lesbians,” ordered Donghyuck.

     Behind Jeno came a small “pfht” noise, and he looked back to see Mark with a surprised expression on his face. Just as Jeno was about to open his mouth and confront him, Chenle decided it would be a great time to look at Jaemin’s smoothie and shout, “Wait, I want one too!”

     “NO,” Mark yelled urgently and grabbed the boy’s wrist. “We have to go right now.”

     Jeno found himself walking next to Jungwoo on their way to the car. “Jungwoo, what are you two up to today?”

     Jungwoo looked up at the sky and smiled to theirself. “We were thinking about going to the river later.”

     “Hey, us too! You should join us!” Jeno offered.

     Lucas appeared at Jeno’s other side. “Hell yeah, man! Let’s go hog wild!” He held up a fist and Jeno immediately recognized the action, holding his own hand up. They whipped in perfect unison. Jungwoo watched the interaction in disappointment.

     Lucas and Jungwoo helped the boys fit all their grocery bags in the trunk, and they made plans to meet up at the river that afternoon. Mark went in for a bro hug from Lucas. “Muchas gracías, bruh.”

     “Ah, enchilada.”

     “Jaemin, you can sit on my lap for the ride back so Jeno can have a break,” Renjun volunteered. Jeno shrugged his shoulders to convey indifference, although truth be told, he really liked cuddling with his friend in the car. 

     To his surprise, Jaemin shook his head. “It’s okay, Jeno is super comfy.” He smiled back at the other boy, who hoped his face wasn’t red.

     “Oh, get a room,” grumbled Jisung, pushing past them to get through to the car. Jeno swore Jaemin’s cheeks were pink. 

     Renjun pushed him forward. “You heard the man, let’s roll out.”


	2. Donghyuck/Jaemin

     Two hours later, the boys and Jungwoo made it to a secluded part of the local river they often went swimming in. While it was surrounded by a small forest, the riverbank consisted of the perfect mix of sand and rocks that made it seem like a beach. The bottom of the river was rocky, which Donghyuck appreciated. He hated the slimy, mucky feeling of most rivers.

     They set up camp on a sandy patch and almost immediately, Lucas charged towards the water wearing obnoxiously bright neon green swim shorts. Donghyuck actually had to squint to look at them. He laid down his towel next to Mark’s and kicked off his shoes. Mark was digging around in his backpack, and eventually emerged with a pair of sunglasses. After putting them on, he joined everyone else cautiously stepping their way into the river, testing to see how cold it was. 

     Donghyuck smiled as Mark slipped and face-planted into the water.  _ The dumb bitch _ .

     He thought about when he and Mark first met. They met in their 8th grade science class when Donghyuck accidentally singed Mark’s eyebrows off during a lab and Donghyuck, laughing and coughing hysterically, invited Mark over to play video games that afternoon. They became instant bros.

     Their sophomore year of high school, they met Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin through their school’s D&D club. The next year, Chenle and Jisung joined. Even though they were younger than the rest, they were very mature and sophisticated for their age. They quickly fit in with the others, and the group was complete. They had been inseparable since.

     Donghyuck had always been closest with Mark, though. They just had a….connection. They  _ got _ each other. He had been the first person Mark confided in about his anxiety disorder. Naturally, Mark was the first person that Donghyuck came out to freshman year. With Mark’s reassurance, Donghyuck found the courage to come out to his own parents. Even when they rejected him and continued to ask him when he “was going to bring home a pretty girl”, Mark was always there to back him up and fiercely defend him. 

     Out in the river, Mark was chasing Renjun around with a long stick, which swung out and smacked Chenle’s head. Jaemin had climbed onto Jeno’s back, and he unhooked one of his arms from Jeno’s neck to point and scream a little too late, “Watch out for the baby!” 

     “Yo, Hyuck!” called out Lucas, from where he was just sitting down in the water. Donghyuck could never understand the older boy. “Aren’t you coming in?”

     Donghyuck sighed and pulled off his t-shirt. “Yeah, yeah.” 

     Jaemin was still clinging onto Jeno’s back when Donghyuck joined them in the river. A strong gust of wind blew all of Jaemin’s hair off his forehead, and Jisung cackled from where he was making rock formations with Chenle. Jaemin frowned and tried to fix his hair. “This is honestly homophobic.”

     Donghyuck looked around to make sure that Mark was in earshot before responding loudly, “The wind isn’t homophobic because it feels good on my asshole when I spread my cheeks towards it.”

     He bit his fist to keep from bursting into laughter as Mark hollered, “Can I just have  _ ONE DAY _ WITHOUT Y’ALL BEING LIKE THIS,” and splashed Donghyuck in the face before turning around to leave. Matters only got worse when Donghyuck bent down to pick up a skipping rock, only for Jeno to whistle at him from a few yards away. “Damn, Hyuck, kill ‘em!”

     Knowing it would only piss off Mark more, Donghyuck arched his back and looked over his shoulder. “You may spank it…” He lifted a finger. “Once.”

     Jaemin was laughing so hard he fell off of Jeno’s back, and dragged the other boy down into the water with him. On the contrary, Mark lunged at Donghyuck with a vehement look on his face. “That’s  _ IT _ , HYUCK!”

     Donghyuck managed to dodge the first grab, but then Mark practically body-slammed him off his feet. They both tumbled downstream, screaming profanities and trying to regain their balance. Jisung looked up from his rock sculpture and pointed. “Is this allowed?”

     After several more hours of fucking around in the river, Donghyuck found himself soaking in the sun on his towel, his head in Mark’s lap. Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun were skipping rocks across the river, while Chenle was fast asleep under a pile of everyone’s shirts to keep himself from burning. Lucas, Jungwoo, and Jisung were playing some card game nearby.

     Above him, Mark was drinking from a bottle of water, which kept dripping onto Donghyuck’s face. He made a face. “Hey, bitch. Get that out of my face.”

     Mark smiled innocently and tilted the bottle so that a small amount poured right onto Donghyuck. He sat up spluttering and wiping his eyes. “You  _ bastard _ .”

     “Hey, stop flirting over there!” interjected Lucas from his towel, Jungwoo sitting in his lap. 

     Donghyuck wiped the rest of the water off on Mark’s bare shoulder. “As  _ if _ , Lucas. Mark couldn’t handle all of this cake.”

     While Lucas straight-up guffawed, Mark looked confused. “Cake?”

     Donghyuck sympathetically patted his friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay, sweetie. Sometimes, stupid and cute  _ are _ enough.”

     Mark opened his mouth to argue but they were interrupted by Chenle shifting in his sleep. Mark elbowed Donghyuck painfully. “Now look what you did, you woke the baby.”

     Donghyuck grunted and massaged his side. “He was already waking up, probably.”

     “I can hear you,” mumbled a sleepy Chenle, voice muffled by the cocoon of shirts around him. He sat up, his cheeks pink and rosy. Lucas, Jungwoo, and Jisung all “awww”ed in unison. Jungwoo offered him a juice box that Donghyuck had no idea where it came from, which the younger boy took gratefully. Next to Donghyuck, Mark sighed. “We really do treat him like a baby, huh.”

     “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” pouted Chenle around his juice box.

     “Hey, guys!” Jeno called from where he was standing calf-deep in the water. “Jaemin has to go home soon.”

     “What, really?” Lucas sighed dramatically. “You  _ always _ have to leave early.”

     Jaemin was picking at his lip. “My mom needs me to help her out.”

     Donghyuck felt a pang of sympathy in his stomach. Aside from Lucas and Jungwoo, they all knew how strict Jaemin’s mother was. The younger boy never talked about it much, but it was clear to Donghyuck that things weren’t so good at home.

     “We should have a sleepover tomorrow night,” he suggested to his friends. “We can go to the arcade!” He knew that the arcade was Jaemin’s favorite place to go.

     “I have to go to a family dinner tomorrow,” said Renjun dejectedly. “You can do it without me.”

     “Nah, bro,” Mark insisted. “I have soccer tomorrow night anyways. How about the day after?”

     Everyone nodded enthusiastically, and Jaemin smiled gratefully at Donghyuck. 

     Lucas stood up and stretched his arms up over his head. “I have something to say,” he announced. They looked at him expectantly.

     He picked his nose. “Anyways, that’s that.”

     Jungwoo buried their face in their hands in embarrassment while the others refused to acknowledge Lucas’ presence for the rest of the time.

     As they all packed up their belongings, Donghyuck pulled Jaemin to the side. “Hey, I hope that was okay for me to ask, I just thought maybe you’d like to get out of the house.”

     Jaemin’s expression was soft. “It’s all good, hyung. Thank you. It means a lot.”

     Donghyuck pinched his cheek, making Jaemin giggle. “Stop being so cute!”

     “Jaemin, is this yours?” Jeno asked from where he was tying his shoes, holding up a baseball cap. Donghyuck laughed to himself.

     “Alright, go get your mans.”

     To his amusement, the other boy’s face blushed and he stammered out a “Uh, uh, coming, Jeno!” before awkwardly making his leave.

     Mark appeared out of nowhere and put an arm around Donghyuck’s shoulder. “They’re so cute, man.”

     Donghyuck smiled fondly at his friends. “Yeah, it’s gross.”

 

Chapter 2.5

 

     Even though some of the others lived closer, Mark drove to Jaemin’s house to drop him off first. The car ride wasn’t long, so Jaemin tried to be in the moment as much as he could. He always tried to do that when he was with his friends, but it was hard with the looming dread of going back home.

     He was sitting on Jeno’s lap again, and the exhaustion from swimming along with the rhythmic movements of the car made him feel sleepy. He was subconsciously aware that he was practically snuggling into Jeno, but the older boy didn’t seem to mind. Jisung and Chenle were talking about some game on their phones, Renjun had his headphones in and was bobbing his head to the music, and Mark and Donghyuck were flirt-arguing per usual. He closed his eyes, just for a moment.

     The next thing he knew, Jeno was gently shaking his shoulder. Jaemin opened his eyes blearily. The car was parked in front of his house.

     “Shit,” he muttered, detangling himself from Jeno’s arms. His mother was in the window, arms crossed and looking disappointed. His stomach twisted.

     “Dude, she does  _ not _ look happy,” Mark observed helpfully.

     Jeno helped Jaemin out of the car, and grabbed his hand as he was about to turn away. “Are you going to be okay?”

     Jaemin forced a smile onto his face. His mother being mad wasn’t anything new, and he didn’t want to worry his friends. “Yeah! Don’t worry about me.”

     Jeno looked down at his bitten lip and nodded, but Jaemin could tell that he didn’t buy it. “Text me later, okay?”

     Jaemin’s mother’s gaze was boring into the back of his skull. 

     “Yeah, definitely. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, maybe!” Jaemin pulled his arm away from Jeno and jogged to the front door. He couldn’t be around them any longer. They were too smart for their own good. Except for Mark.

     Once inside, he took and deep breath and prepared for what was to come before stepping into the living room. “Hey, Mom.”

     His mom was fairly young, at least compared to the other parents of kids his age. Being an only child and a single parent, the two of them had always had a very deep emotional connection. But once Jaemin started showing signs of depression, his mom suddenly became harsh and strict. She wouldn’t listen to him about how he felt, so he did his best to avoid her. And she didn’t like that.

     “Where have you been?” She sat on the couch, looking at him disapprovingly. Jaemin felt very small.

     “I was out with my friends. I left a note.”

     She let out an exaggerated sigh. “Jaemin, I told you to clean the house before you left. Why didn’t you do that?”

     Jaemin looked at her in confusion. “I  _ did _ , Mom.”

     “No, you didn’t. There’s still dust on the stairs. I only ask for you to do a few things to help out around the house and you can’t even do that. Do you know how hard I work to keep a roof over your head? And all you do is sit on your ass all day.” Her voice was rising and Jaemin knew not to interrupt.

     “So you have the time to go and hang out with all of your little friends, but you can’t do one single thing right around here? Maybe I should just ground you for a week.”

     “No!” Jaemin blurted out before he could stop himself. “I’m sorry, I had to unplug the vacuum and then I forgot about the stairs, I’ll do them n- “

     “I already did them,” his mom retorted. “Give me your phone.”

     Jaemin’s heart stopped. His mom hadn’t threatened to do that for a few weeks and he thought he had been in the clear. “Mom, I need my ph- “

     “ _ Now _ , Na Jaemin.”

     There was no point in fighting back. He handed over his phone and stormed out of the room.

     “Hey, don’t you give me that attitude! Come back here!”

     Jaemin ignored her and ran upstairs to his room, slamming the door behind him. He could hear his mom yelling something but he didn’t try to listen. When he looked out the window, he half-expected Mark’s car to still be there. It wasn’t.

 

     Jaemin hated crying. He hated the way his face got red and puffy, his eyes and lips swollen like balloons. He hated feeling weak for crying so often. 

     He rubbed his eyes against his pillowcase, trying to stop the flow of tears that had been going on for hours. He knew he was overreacting. His mom was probably right: he  _ was _ lazy and selfish, and a burden on her. If he was a burden on her, that meant he was probably a burden on his fr-

     The sound of something hitting his window stopped his racing thoughts. He thought maybe it had just been the wind, or a car door, but the noise happened again. Wearily, he dragged himself off of his bed and looked outside.

     Right outside of Jaemin’s window was a bit of roof that was lower than the rest, and if someone was able to scale up the side of the house, perhaps by climbing the tree in the front yard and jumping over to grab onto the edge of the roof, they might be able to pull themselves up onto the roof. A familiar black-haired boy was doing just that.

     Jaemin hurried to open the window. “What are you doing! You could fall!”

     Jeno tumbled into the bedroom and onto the floor, grinning wildly. “Nah, I think I got it.”

     Jaemin sighed and closed the window, throwing himself back down on his bed with a thump. “If my mom catches you, I’m never going to be able to leave the house ever again.”

     “Then I’ll make sure she doesn’t catch me,” Jeno assured. His smile dropped when he saw Jaemin’s serious expression. “How come you didn’t text me back?”

     Jaemin felt a stab of guilt. “I had my phone taken away. I’m sorry.”

     “Hey.” Jeno climbed up onto the bed next to him. “What’s going on?”

     To be honest, Jaemin was never sure how much he should share with Jeno, nevermind the rest of his friends. He didn’t want to keep bringing down the mood when they were hanging out, and he didn’t want to accidentally hurt them. He had opened up to Jeno about some of the issues he dealt with at home, but never went into depth.

     “Jaemin?” He realized that Jeno was still waiting for an answer. He shook his head. “It’s all good. I just forgot to do some chores and my mom got mad.”

     Jeno eyed him carefully. “Jaemin, you can tell me what’s happening, you know. I want to listen.” When Jaemin refused to meet his eyes, the other boy reached out to take his hand. Stepping around the empty coffee mugs and crumpled pieces of paper scattering the floor, Jeno led him back to the window. They climbed out onto the roof.

     They were silent for a few minutes. Jeno dug around in his jean jacket and pulled out a lighter and a joint, which he lit and passed to Jaemin. He took it gratefully and inhaled deeply, debating where to start.

     “My mom’s not a bad person. You know that. She just doesn’t really….get me,” he said finally, handing the joint back to Jeno. The other boy was listening intently, and nodded for him to continue. 

     “She doesn’t really believe in, like, depression. Told me it was a phase and that I have no reason to be sad and that I was just lazy and attention-seeking. That’s just kinda what she’s been telling me for a few years now. It’s hard not to believe her sometimes.” Despite the painful thumping of his heartbeat, Jaemin found that his voice became more steady as he continued. It felt good to finally get something off his chest.

     Jeno was quiet, still listening, and Jaemin realized there was no turning back. He braced himself for what he was about to say next. “I used to self harm a lot. Not so much anymore, but occasionally it still happens. But I’m getting better at managing it now.”

     That wasn't a lie. Ever since Jaemin had become friends with Jeno and the others, his perspective on life had improved dramatically. However, his mental illness couldn’t be cured, only managed, and Jaemin still struggled with his intrusive thoughts and self hate. His mom only made everything a thousand times worse.

     He snuck a glance over at Jeno, nervous to see his reaction. He thought maybe his friend would coddle him like a child, or maybe even laugh and call him a freak. Jeno simply looked at him with an expression that just said,  _ I’m here. I see you. _

     “I know it’s a lot to take in, and I’m sorry that I kinda just dumped that on you, I’ve never really told anyone before- ” Jaemin knew that he was starting to ramble and cut himself off. He was surprised when Jeno scooted closer to him. He felt an arm wrap around his shoulders.

     “I’m sorry that you’ve been dealing with this all alone, Jaemin.” His voice was a little sad.

     “It….it’s okay. That’s kind of how I’ve always dealt with it.” It was the truth.

     “I know. You shouldn’t have to, though.” There was a pause. “I wish I could’ve been here sooner. Just to have your back and everything.”

     Jaemin couldn’t help but smile. It didn’t seem like Jeno thought he was crazy. “You’re here now.”

     Jeno laughed and hugged Jaemin closer to him. “Yeah, and you’re not getting rid of me. I can promise you that.”

     Jaemin giggled and leaned his head against his friend’s shoulder. “We’re okay, right? Things aren’t going to be different or awkward between us?”

     “No, of course not, Jaemin,” the other boy reassured him. “But I want you to know that if you’re feeling unsafe, or if you’re just having a really bad night, you can call me or text me. I want to be here for you.”

     Jaemin’s mind drew a blank. No one had ever said that to him before. He racked his brain for an appropriate response, but came up with nothing. Jeno seemed to notice.

     “You don’t have to say anything. Just know that I’m here. And if you don’t have your phone, I only live three blocks away. You can come over whenever you want to, even in the middle of the night. My parents love you. It’s not too hard to get down from here.”

     Jaemin nodded, feeling for the first time in his life that somebody had  _ heard _ him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally i characterized jaemin entirely after myself so thats cool :-) but let me know how yall feel and ill keep posting chapters!! give me feedback and validation if u want!!


End file.
